In my expectations for Poland, everyone told me to be prepared for a really emotional week full of tears and sadness.
In my expectations for Poland, everyone told me to be prepared for a really emotional week full of tears and sadness. I thought that the second we visited a camp I would be bawling. To my surprise, I didn’t have the reaction I thought I would. I didn’t cry at every sad or gloomy site. Some things affecting me more than others and some of them were very surprising.
When we went to Auschwitz, I didn’t feel anything until I saw the hair exhibit. It made me sick to my stomach and all I wanted to do was leave the room, but at the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Another thing that really got to me was when we entered the gas chambers. It made me think about what the Jews must have been going through, what were they thinking, were they with their family members, did they have to calm down a crying child? Lastly, when we visited the Lubochovo forest, I just didn’t know what to think. I walked in there really not having any understanding of what I was going to see. The last thing I was expecting was a mass grave where thousands of Jews were massacred. In all of these places, all I wanted to do was cry and let it all out, but my eyes just wouldn’t let me.
One thing that helped me cope a lot more than I thought it would, was the journal. It gave me an outlet to just let go of everything that was stuck in my mind. This was honestly one of the most meaning full times of the week. This was when I got the chance to sit with my self and put all my rambling thoughts together in order on paper. Even though it is a sad topic to write about, It felt really good to have a place to just put whatever was going on to me that day in words. I had a hard time really digesting and understanding the whole idea of the Shoah. When we walked through the camps, I wanted to remember every part of it, as to never forget. Anytime I saw something important, I looked at it for some time and really tried to make a mental picture of it. I thought this was very important because I will never know when ill get the chance to go back there.
When we went to Auschwitz, I didn’t feel anything until I saw the hair exhibit. It made me sick to my stomach and all I wanted to do was leave the room, but at the same time, I couldn’t take my eyes off of it. Another thing that really got to me was when we entered the gas chambers. It made me think about what the Jews must have been going through, what were they thinking, were they with their family members, did they have to calm down a crying child? Lastly, when we visited the Lubochovo forest, I just didn’t know what to think. I walked in there really not having any understanding of what I was going to see. The last thing I was expecting was a mass grave where thousands of Jews were massacred. In all of these places, all I wanted to do was cry and let it all out, but my eyes just wouldn’t let me.
One thing that helped me cope a lot more than I thought it would, was the journal. It gave me an outlet to just let go of everything that was stuck in my mind. This was honestly one of the most meaning full times of the week. This was when I got the chance to sit with my self and put all my rambling thoughts together in order on paper. Even though it is a sad topic to write about, It felt really good to have a place to just put whatever was going on to me that day in words. I had a hard time really digesting and understanding the whole idea of the Shoah. When we walked through the camps, I wanted to remember every part of it, as to never forget. Anytime I saw something important, I looked at it for some time and really tried to make a mental picture of it. I thought this was very important because I will never know when ill get the chance to go back there.