So this is it; the moment where everything begins to feel real. It was only a bit over a year ago when I was crying my eyes out at Ben Gurion Airport. I pledged to my mom that I would return soon enough, but never in a million years did we both think I would be returning this soon! Not to sound cheesy, but Israel seems to be my fate.

A couple months ago, I applied for the JNF Fellowship with AMHSI because I wanted my experience to be more than just a fun study abroad trip. I wanted to grow as a leader and bond with my country and its inhabitants. I wanted to reflect on my journey and enrich my life with mementos to tell my grandchildren. These dreams are becoming my reality…as in 3 days!

After all the conversations I’ve had with alumni from AMHSI (many exciting, many reassuring), I’ve set my expectation level to zero. Is it weird to say I don’t have any expectations? I hope that I’ll make lifelong friends, have insane fun, learn about my roots, and discover myself as a Jew and overall human. These are my hopes, not my expectations. I’d rather go into a program like this with an open mind and heart. I guess you could say that’s my personal philosophy.

Of course, with any teenage philosophy, there’s rational and irrational fears. I fear that I won’t find people who like me for me. This is what I’d call an irrational fear, especially since I make friends everywhere I go. (Plus, my dad says I’m charming and funny. Thanks dad!). I fear that I won’t be caught up with my general studies classes, math to be specific. I did some quick counting and figured I’ll be missing about 30 American classes with only 20 general studies classes during the minimester. If I thought my math teacher was too fast already, yikes because I’ll need to learn even faster if I have a decent shot at passing the midterm. This is what I’d call a rational fear.

Now’s a great time to take a deep breath and enjoy what will be the best experience of my small, anxious, crazy, and wonderful teenage life. I’m sharing all the raw feeling here; the ups and downs, the hopes and fears, the dreams and realities.

Peace,

Talia Krausz