I recently spent hours sitting on a couch with headphones playing Halsey and an army blanket wrapped around my body, pondering my Jewish identity. It wasn’t for fun, it was actually for a huge paper in my Core class. The prompt, “What is an ideal Jew?” scared me. Did I really want to dig deep and unravel my thoughts? Did I really want to challenge my beliefs?

I stopped procrastinating and started typing. My life philosophy, that I’d been sharing with people for a while now, was finally organized into a 4 page paper.

Reasonably, I feel like my thoughts travel further than the distance of a 4 page paper. There is still so much I’m learning about myself- my Judaism and my connection to Israel. This is an infinitely evolving part of my life. The more I learn, the more I change.

Only after we submitted our papers, did my peers and I share our personal essays. One of friends had amazing insight: an ideal Jew is someone who is always questioning their Judaism.

This brings me to my second point…

I’ve been wondering how I want to impact my community at home. I don’t want to return preaching how wonderful and perfect Israel is, therefore deserving of everyone’s blind support. And I don’t want to return urging a stronger practice of Judaism because that’s what people expect of me. Instead, I want to challenge my community’s Judaism and connection to Israel because this experience has challenged mine. What does Judaism mean to you? Are you religious because of your family or because you find meaning? Why do you support Israel (or not)? How will you support Israel granted you agree with the State?

These very questions I think about daily have made me curious to hear others’ answers. By simply posing these questions, I believe I can make an impact in my community. Starting locally, I will initiate conversations that most avoid out of fear that they will persuade them out of their beliefs. Then I will speak at events, sharing my story while asking my equals to look within themselves and search for meaning- in any shape or form. When most teenagers, adults, and elders stop learning, I’ll be there to encourage their exploration of Judaism and themselves. After all, aren’t we all forever students?

Peace,

Talia