You know how you never know something is missing until you find it? Like when you think the food you made tastes absolutely perfect, and then somebody adds some spices and you realize it wasn’t actually perfect before because it needed spices (shoutout to my dad who always makes my salsa better). Or like when you think your house is as full as it could ever get, and then you get dog and realize your house wasn’t actually full and your family wasn’t complete without them (shoutout to Leo, the 6th dog and final member of the Jones family, unless my mom got yet another dog while I was gone).

That’s what it’s been like in Israel. If you’d asked me before I left if I was a complete person, I would have said “of course!” I would have been very confused, but I would have said I was complete. As it turns out, I wasn’t. It’s like there was a piece of me missing, and I just couldn’t see it until I found the piece that I needed.

That piece was Israel. There was an Israel shaped hole in my heart. Cheesy, I know, but it’s really true. So when I’m asked for the most unexpected, but amazing thing about Israel, it’s who I am now that that empty space is filled. I’m complete. Of course there could just be another hole I can’t see, but that’s an issue for when I find that piece. I’m as complete as I can be right now. When I say I’m not the same person I was when I came here, I mean I am a more complete version of myself now.

This past week, we met a man who lives on a Kibbutz that borders Lebanon. He left everything behind in America to join the IDF when he had never been there before. The way he said it made it seem like that was so easy for him, like somehow he knew that Israel needed him and he needed Israel.

Later that day, somebody asked my teacher why he chose to make Alliyah when it would mean leaving his family behind in America. He said it’s because it would be better for his children to be raised with the community in Israel. Just like the man in the kibbutz, he had to leave behind the past in order to get the best possible future. It’s become clearer and clearer to me how they were able to do it. It’s not easy to leave behind everything you ever knew and come to a new place. But sometimes, there’s just something missing, sometimes something you don’t even know is missing. You can live a complete and happy life without it, but you’ll be happier and more complete with it. It’s the reason I’ve always been so drawn to Israel without knowing why. It’s the reason I’ll be coming back here one day. It’s the missing piece I found, I think just like the man on the kibbutz, my teacher, and a lot of other people found. It’s home (#HodisHome).