I realized I needed to set some goals for myself..
Before coming to Israel, I tried really hard not to set any expectations for myself. I didn’t want to make up scenarios in my head because then I might be let down. Going into this new adventure, I wanted to make new friends, see new things, push myself in ways I hadn’t before and become more aware of things around me.
Once I got here, I noticed that it wasn’t exactly living up to the expectations that I had thought I didn’t set but in reality I subconsciously did. I was sick, jet-lagged and since I don’t normally get sick at home, all I wanted was my parents and to be in my own bed and maybe even in the same time zone as my friends. I felt so lonely. I sat in bed, had to constantly get up and go upstairs to blow my nose and I felt so so so bad for my poor roommates who I barely knew and they had to deal with me. And just to make it better, I had no voice from my sore throat and constant coughing so I really couldn’t talk without wanting to cry. During this wonderful time I had to myself, I realized I needed to set some goals for myself. The number one is to get better. Number two, I just needed to let things happen. I needed to sit back and watch. I needed to not throw myself in situations where I would be uncomfortable and make good friends.
Before leaving, I thought about the time difference and how I would be 7 hours ahead from home. It sounded really scary and upsetting at first but then I realized that it will be a good thing. I can disconnect. The only people I would be able to talk to would be the other people in Israel with me. I could literally leave my phone in the dorm all morning and not be “missing out” on anything at home. So one big goal I have for myself during my time here is to look around and really soak in what's going on around me and not just sit back and feel bad for myself when I’m not having the best time ever all the time.